Yesterday morning I felt terrible. I was trying to help my friend M at her toddlers and not doing an especially good job of it. The room kept spinning, I was shaky and just wanted to curl up in a corner.
For a minute I wondered what the heck was wrong with me. Then I realised that until recently I felt like this, in fact a lot worse than this, all the time. Especially by Thursday morning. Rosie has been such a rubbish sleeper and has been extremely demanding during the day as well. It's cool that feeling so exhausted that the room spins has now become an 'event' anyway.
At toddlers I watched the other babies come in. From being tiny they all sat on the floor and played. Rosie never ever did. Ever. She needed carrying *all* the time. At toddlers I had to lug toys about and get the room set up with her on one hip. At home I had to make packed lunches likewise or else listen to wailing, ditto the laundry and everything else that needs doing lots when four children and two adults live together. She took all her naps on my knee and at night we slept attached, at one point at the peak of this she would be latched onto booby and holding onto me with both hands all at the same time.
Now she potters about. She follows me from room to room when I hang laundry up or whatever. She still takes the majority of her naps on me but sometimes she will be put down, sound asleep, into her baby carseat which she's too big for but we keep in the house for this purpose, it makes her feel secure I guess as it's kind of cocooning.
So anyway it looks strange to me to see babies sitting playing on the mat whilst their mothers bustle about. But it's nearly over for me. I'm pleased not to be so tired 24/7, to be a bit more use to the rest of the world especially my big kids. I like having a bigger baby who is more fun and can potter about and is starting to understand talk. But I wouldn't go back and change anything. I gave her all I had.
For a minute I wondered what the heck was wrong with me. Then I realised that until recently I felt like this, in fact a lot worse than this, all the time. Especially by Thursday morning. Rosie has been such a rubbish sleeper and has been extremely demanding during the day as well. It's cool that feeling so exhausted that the room spins has now become an 'event' anyway.
At toddlers I watched the other babies come in. From being tiny they all sat on the floor and played. Rosie never ever did. Ever. She needed carrying *all* the time. At toddlers I had to lug toys about and get the room set up with her on one hip. At home I had to make packed lunches likewise or else listen to wailing, ditto the laundry and everything else that needs doing lots when four children and two adults live together. She took all her naps on my knee and at night we slept attached, at one point at the peak of this she would be latched onto booby and holding onto me with both hands all at the same time.
Now she potters about. She follows me from room to room when I hang laundry up or whatever. She still takes the majority of her naps on me but sometimes she will be put down, sound asleep, into her baby carseat which she's too big for but we keep in the house for this purpose, it makes her feel secure I guess as it's kind of cocooning.
So anyway it looks strange to me to see babies sitting playing on the mat whilst their mothers bustle about. But it's nearly over for me. I'm pleased not to be so tired 24/7, to be a bit more use to the rest of the world especially my big kids. I like having a bigger baby who is more fun and can potter about and is starting to understand talk. But I wouldn't go back and change anything. I gave her all I had.
1 comment:
That's a fantastic photo of the two of you.
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