Work, Woods, Oz and Big Schools

We've finally got a bit of work done this week, sighs of relief all round to get 'back to normal'. Martha loves her new maths course, Isaiah hated his on first sight but I didn't worry too much - he always hates everything new. As usual by the next day he was ploughing through it.

We haven't just worked we've also been to our home ed gathering in the woods, which went really well for us this time with the oldest two making new friends. I faced the fact I've become severely unfit - pushing Rosie's buggy up the hill nearly killed me I was purple by the time I got there :-)) I've hidden away far too much and therefore stopped walking anywhere, people's stares at my kids out and about in the day turned me into a recluse. Now we have more confidence I'm going to try to establish walking as an activity far more regularly - it's not as if I haven't got anwhere to walk I live in such a beautiful part of the world, pic above of view ten minutes walk from my house to remind you all of that!! We're meeting up with the first family we met in the North East, who we all *love*, on Thursday, then on Friday we're going to visit another family who seem nice too. A book group invited us to join, I'm umming and aahing, Great on one hand, family we love go, the others seem great too ...... on the other hand the kids are like 'what the heck is a book group?' and I'm having trouble explaining not having been to it myself. What if they hate it then play up and show me up? I'm going to email someone and ask for a more detailed description of what they actually do! Also the next one is a week on Monday which isn't good - not long enough to get the book and read it to the kids whilst allowing Isaiah to get his head around it all - he'll need more time to come round to the idea.

A very good friend S from a few years back who emigrated to Australia is back for three weeks, yippee! She has one child the same age as Martha, we met at NCT coffees when we were still pregnant, nearly eleven years ago now, back when the world was all black and white and we had to use horses and traps to get everywhere and cook on the fireplace ;-) She always said she'd have one child or four ... then she had one, I had four! Great to see her. It's kinda weird though. She fits right back in so it's like she's never been away. Then there's a pause and we realise we haven't seen each other for two years (and then briefly - it's three and a half years since she moved), she's never even met my friend T who with all her troubles is occupying such a large proportion of my thoughts right now. On a shallower note she thought B's lounge was great as it's newly decorated - about three years ago :-)) Nice to see how someone can still feel like a really good friend and be loved so much whilst not actually being here though.

The conversation tends to centre on Big Schools when I'm with more than one friend with kids Martha's age, leaving me feeling strangely out of the loop. More on that later when I've got my head round it. Also right now I hate being asked how home edding is going - I feel pressured by the question as I really just don't have any idea of the answer!

I feel tons better in myself than I did when I posted that miserable post a couple of weeks ago. I'm settled on my new high dose of tablets. Trouble is, when I started on Lofepramine I thought it was the ebst anti depressant ever because I had no side effects whatsoever unlike with prozac or venlafaxine. On the new higher dose unfortunately I have gone back to some of how I felt on those two - like I'm in some sort of insulated goldfish bowl. I have no feelings at all, either good or bad. I can't take them forever I'll have to come off at some point and go back to reality. Not right now though, maybe when T's baby is safely here and she's had time to settle down and N is more independent, and our family too has had a bit longer to get used to home ed.