Oh dear me. As a family we didn't do much for the cause of Home Ed today.
Flossie had a birthday party to go to - the first since she left school last July that would involve seeing some of her old classmates.
She was very very excited this morning, then on the way there. When we got there however, she went silent, clung to me, refused to join in, and sat on my knee and frowned at everyone.
We left early.
Flossie used to behave like that all the time as a baby/toddler. However since she's been about three she's been a lot more confident, more so than the older two.
What's gone wrong? I don't know. I don't think pulling her out of school has knocked her confidence, or at least I didn't until today. She's fine at Home Ed meet ups, we went to the woods on Thursday and she grumbled about the walk but then ran off to play afterwards. She also plays endlessly with her best friend E, with A whose party it was today, and with a few others.
I don't think she's essentially unhappy in herself. She came home this afternoon, started playing, and with a sigh of relief said 'this is much better'.
She doesn't want to go back to school. She says so fervently whenever the subject comes up.
My gut reaction is that she was justa bit freaked out as she saw these people for the first time in seven months and wasn't sure how she should react. She hasn't been invited to any huge parties recently so that was unfamiliar too. Seven months is a huge long time at her age.
It can't have looked very good to the other mams. At best they'll probably think she's gone shy for lack of socialisation. At worst .... well where does the imagination stop? She's miserable and clingy because we abuse her all week now she's at home, as the media has implied recently? She's stressed from the constant stream of potential husbands we have paraded past her in our quest to force her to get married at the earliest opportunity as one or two insane reports suggested home ed people do? She's exhausted from domestic servitude? She's 'hot housed' all week in a little cell 3 foot by 3 foot and so doesn't know how to react to anything but hard academic work?
Hey ho. Don't suppose their opinions matter anyway.
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5 comments:
Maybe she was clingy cos the sight of everyone brought back some bad memories associated with school?
Agree with Ruth. Also, who cares? I mean, don't we all have bad days sometimes?
Comment isn't meant to sound stroppy at you, because I have the same worries about my children, and then feel really cross with society as a whole that they make me anxious about my children when they're just being children! Flopsy, in particular, has always been clingy, and then been super-confident for a couple of years, even going to speak to shop assistants to ask for help etc. But lately, while I've been struggling, she's really regressed. I'm calmer about it than I was initially, but angry that I have to work so hard not to be cross with her when the only reason I'm cross is because I'm worried about how it looks to others! I should be worrying about her, not about what others think!
Well we had a sleepwalking incident last night, which Flossie saves for very very rare occasions. She must've been stressed :-(((
She was quite cheery again this morning, and then opened up and talked about how she's never liked disco parties, she prefers run around in play area parties. I guess disco plus kids who are now strangers but were once familiar was just too much of a vile combination for her, and yes, possibly memories of school may have been involved. Discos last year when she was at school with very familiar friends probably meant she could dredge up the confidence to 'fit in' and get up and 'do her thang' on the dancefloor.
Thinking back Martha would never ever ever get up at that type of party and she was always in school at Flossie's age
Today F settled happily in Sunday School and was very loud and boisterous I could hear her and occasionally peep through the curtain which divides our church hall as I was taking the other age group, then she spent the afternoon playing happily with best friend E.
I don't think I'm going to worry about this incident anymore. Whether I can switch off worrying about 'What people think' is a whole other issue.
I read about what happened and cringed. Not at her reaction, but, as you said, about what some of the parents may dream up. You're right though, to put it to bed with a shrug and a sigh.
I think it is difficult not to feel very much under the spot light when you home educate, I know I certainly do.
Sometimes when things don't go quite as I hoped with my children I wonder if I am in some way to blame because of the life choices I have made. Sometimes my children appear to lack confidence in large groups of children and I ponder if they would be more comfortable with that if they went to school. Perhaps they would but at what cost? They might (no guarantees) feel more comfortable in certain situations but then at what cost?
I think you do right to just let it go.
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