I Hate School!

Today the bairns went back to school.

Now, I am very very blessed with my childrens' particular school. It's nothing personal! It's school generally. Believe me, I know I've got a good one, Martha used to go somewhere else for infants where the head laughed at me when I reported that she was having her lunch box stolen daily. Their current school, where Isaiah and Florence have gone since reception and Martha from year 3, is much more able to take care of the individual child, and has a caring feel to the place as far as any institution can, some of the staff are really lovely.

It's just that - I hate school in general! I *hate* racing out of the door early, none of us have the kind of body clock to be raring to go at that time of day, and so no matter how much preparation I do the night before, no matter how early I get up, there's always something needing sorting at the moment it's time to leave, so they are often in the 'late line'. It's a crowd control thing, foggy headed me verses three dazed and unruly kids and one clingy baby. No EWO could lay down any sort of schedule that would have any success. I resent the way this insitutution has the power to make me cross with my kids just before parting with them for a day, so we all leave with a nasty taste in our mouths. I end up so stressed by it all I feel unwell by the end of term, you may remember I was dizzy in December, I succumb to illnesses. Ends of weeks also aren't good by Thursday and Friday the room spins around me.

I then return home either with just Rosie or alone. Now, lots of people have said to me all holiday 'I'll bet you're looking forward to the kids going back so you can have some peace'. Sorry, but that just does not compute! Yes it's quiet, but its like staring into an empty abyss. I hate it. After all the adrenaline rush of getting there - nothing! I had kids to spend time with them. Yes they drive me mad, the shouting, leaping about and mess, yes one day last week I stomped out when Dad got home for ten minutes space - but that's just all part of being a parent, far better than being home alone or with just Rosie who I love to bits but can't talk to me and misses them too so is very hard to entertain. And when they are gone I don't know what they are doing and Isaiah especially has had issues that never get resolved fully because I am not there. The three of them, especially Martha, turn into slightly different people that I don't like so much depending on various influences of stresses. We had two incidents where Mar. was horrible to other girls last term, my child who I've nurtured in a Christian home from birth and drummed values into, because she was being led by the other girls. Not acceptable I know, she needs to learn to not be led, but short of waving a magic wand I'm doing all I can.

There's then the issue that the school day finishes half way through the afternoon and I get back three tired grumpy kids who don't want to do anything much for about three hours til tea and bed. Either that or we race off to some activity and end up cream crackered and with endless sandwiches still needing making for the next day. As lots of parents complain, I only get the worst of them in term time!

I hate thinking of some of the other things that happen in all schools even the very best of them, such as the institutionalisation (is that a word?!) - Flossie has started putting her hand up to speak at home. All of them have occasionally wet themselves through not getting the teachers attention to ask to go to the loo. The vagueness of the staff as to why kids who have been made to sit still all morning then run wild at lunchtime when set free outdoors with their peers. None of them eat properly because all three have 'friends' who laugh at them for having fruit rather than rubbish in their packed lunches, Flossie won't even eat her free fruit because her friends don't.

Don't get me started on the National Curriculum, or SATS my stress levels can't take it today! Likewise uniforms, homework for five year olds, numeracy/literacy hour meaning they alternate teaching other stuff such as history and geography termly (maybe I'm getting old and doddery but I seem to remember we wrote about these subjects so were doing literacy at the same time as learning interesting stuff... now there's a clever notion!), the way from year one onwards there's hardly any time for free creativity (or none at the old school).... I could go on but I won't!

Today we have a new problem. Isaiah was moved into the small remedial group for literacy last term because he hated writing and he had a personality clash with the teacher I like least at his school. He wasn't really doing badly enough, he ended up scoring well above average in his year 2 SATS, but they felt he'd do better in a smaller group, taken by his favourite teacher, one of the best I've come across, who managed to unlock him. See - I told you as far as schools go mine is ok!

He's now in year 3 and they've decided he is just way too far ahead to stay in his small group, they are moving him back up. The teachers are different in year 3, I've liked the one he's had so far, and the one he's moving to is ok I think. Isaiah, however, is devastated, because he has made new friends in the last 2 terms in the small group who he doesn't want to leave, he has cried for ages this evening, and when Isaiah is unhappy eveything and everyone suffers especially his behaviour which could really put his new teacher's back up- I really don't know what will happen tomorrow in literacy. I just hope he is happy enough not to start off on the wrong foot, I'm praying for someone he likes to be there.